So often I forget all of these things and place blame on the need for discipline or structure or parental control. But the truth of the matter is: parenting isn't a power struggle, it's a learning lesson. It's a growth experiment. It's an, "I want to teach you all that I can so you will grow up and be all that you can."
When my sons are men, I pray they forgive me for my mistakes. I pray they remember the times I was tired and worn out and stretched way too thin- and when they have kids of their own, that they'll understand then.
This is the kind of stuff that so many women hear from the men who are supposed to love and protect them.
When those words are able to leave my lips with a sense of pride and accomplishment, I'll finally be able to look at my story in the face and say, "You have no power over me anymore."
It's hard to slow down and take it all in, but moms: I'm begging you: please remember where you've been. Remember the hard times as well as the good, remember what got you here- you're doing what no one else thought you could.
So often, we worry so much about the end goal -taking care of everyone, finishing school, promoting at work, getting through the season- that we forget WHY we are motivated to do those things. We forget about our reasons. We become so consumed in "getting through life" that we forget to stop and ENJOY life.
For anyone who suffers from BPD, PTSD, or past relationship trauma: pay attention. For anyone who has lived through relationship hell and attempted to love again: this is for you.
Sometimes I find myself speaking to my current spouse as if he were the last one. The one who used me, demeaned me, humiliated me, and objectified me. Sometimes I find myself triggered by things he says, and it isn’t even him. It’s like suddenly, I hear the old voice yelling the same words he is muttering; and I react as if I’m speaking to the old, rather than the new. As you could probably imagine (or maybe you know from experience), this can kill any “new love” buzz. Because our new loves just don’t deserve that.
It’s a real eye opener to realize that the love you are so used to, wasn’t love at all. But it…
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