Recognizing my tolerance for the situation has allowed me to gain control of the situation. It's allowed me to look through a new lense.. a new perspective, and it's given me more power to ensure that it will never happen again. I am able to react now; to put my foot down and draw the line in the sand.
Being secure in ourselves allows us the chance to broaden our horizons. It allows us to step out of our comfort zones, take risks, and love deeply. We can't fully appreciate someone else for their attributes if we can't be secure within our own. We are on a slippery slope in that way; a slope that leads to jealousy, bitterness, hatred, pity, and of course, more insecurity.
Too often we become afraid to lose the things we love; the things we are interested in, the relationships we are scared of, the new opportunities presented before us.. and in being afraid, we sabotage our likelihood of maintaining these things. We need to stop living in our heads, and live in our moments.
The sad truth about these attachments, is that they hold bars in our heads that are so hard to break down. It takes courage to point out these weaknesses within us. It takes bravery to say, "enough is enough." And most importantly, it takes reminding yourself everyday that you are worthy of moving on. Moving on from drugs, or gambling, or sex addictions.. mental illness stigmas or body shaming or personal insecurities, toxic relationship patterns and isolation tendencies, controlling or demeaning behaviors, the little evils that sit on our shoulders in our most vulnerable moments.
He needs to see his mom cry in a constructive way, he needs to see how I handle real life situations with grace and respect. He will learn from my ability to be sad and, still be okay.
We often like to associate scars with physical features. We fall, cut our skin, and begin to bleed. We've all sustained physical injuries that have healed over the course of time. But what about the emotional ones?
Gaslighting is a tactic that controllers, abusers, and narcissists use to brainwash the people around them. It's a slow moving tactic designed to make their victims feel crazy, isolated, unstable, and dependent. And let me tell you, it works.