Patching the Holes (A Love Analogy)

For anyone who suffers from BPD, PTSD, or past relationship trauma: pay attention. For anyone who has lived through relationship hell and attempted to love again: this is for you.


Sometimes I find myself speaking to my current spouse as if he were the last one. The one who used me, demeaned me, humiliated me, and objectified me. Sometimes I find myself triggered by things he says, and it isn’t even him. It’s like suddenly, I hear the old voice yelling the same words he is muttering; and I react as if I’m speaking to the old, rather than the new. As you could probably imagine (or maybe you know from experience), this can kill any “new love” buzz. Because our new loves just don’t deserve that.

It’s a real eye opener to realize that the love you are so used to, wasn’t love at all. But it…

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