Gaslighters function off the confusion and absolute mayhem they create for you- the hysteria that consumes your brain because while red flags are going off everywhere about this person, for some reason.. you believe it is your fault.
You can tell a lot about a man's true intentions by how he speaks about you and your children, and refers to possessions you may or may not have together. My only hope is that all of you can listen and catch these little details, as they are subtle cues that will foreshadow what you deal with in the future.
"It wouldn't stop until I would break and say sorry. But I was always so stubborn.. I tried to hold onto my dignity for as long as I could after he tried to strip me of it. I would refuse to say sorry, I would refuse to beg him for forgiveness. Because I don't beg for things I don't need."
Being so blessed to have the title of 'Mom' means so many things; it means 'Organizer' and 'Planner' and 'Cleaner.' It means 'Fix-It Lady' and 'Cooking Lady' and 'Chauffer Lady.' It means you get to take care of endless laundry, calculate the finances, schedule appointments, meet with teachers, plan the meals, buy the necessities, kiss the boo-boos. It means you are responsible for another person's life more than your own. It means dignity and beauty and compassion and power.
The main issue here, stems from being broken. It rises from insecurities and shortcomings and strong tendencies to protect myself. After you've been hurt before, and I mean bad, it becomes nearly impossible to be readily vulnerable. Vulnerability is a scary place, and with each emotion that brings me there, my fight or flight kicks in (almost simultaneously).
I've viewed Krysta as the ultimate puzzle. Difficult, but not impossible. Strange tendencies that include self-sabotage, emotional instability, mood swings, depression; all twists and turns to the maze that is Krysta.
The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I thought this would be a good time to write about very intimate things that are near and dear to my heart. Throughout my recent journey, I have found hope and healing in writing about my story. It has been a way of coping, if … Continue reading This is my Brave
As I tucked my children in bed tonight, I reminded them about our day and how wonderfully kind the woman at the store was. If there's anything I wanted to come of it, it's that my kids learn the value in being compassionate towards others. Of being appreciative for what is given. Of practicing humility when it's least convenient.
I'll never forget the way you looked at me only a week after we met, when we laughed for hours about nonsense that made us cross our eyes and sweat. You threw your head back and sighed, "I feel like I'm in high school again," and we locked eyes. I could feel what you meant. We laughed like love-struck teenagers, and we fell in love like we were each other's firsts.
Be honest with yourself; have you? Have you thought about it in those moments of overwhelming exhaustion? In those times where kids are screaming, babies are crying, everyone is needing and wanting and demanding? Have you wondered if your children deserve better, because you are falling short?